Many of you may have seen the last post by my twin sister, Rachel, titled Five Things Young Women Look for in Young Men. Let’s be honest guys, it was good to hear what girls find attractive. It’s good to think about areas to improve and hey – physical appearance didn’t even make it into their top 5 so we’re already winning.
I thought it would be cool to give a perspective from a guy’s point of view. Two weeks ago, I asked young men around my age, what they looked for in a young woman. I sent this question out to many people, and I got some different responses. What was most interesting to me was how characteristics that don’t appear on the outside outnumbered physical traits by a landslide. This may seem old fashioned, but I can see the truth in it.
Hey girls! In my opinion, my informal survey shows that boys really do look for what you carry on the inside rather than your outward appearance. It sounds super cheesy, but think about it as you read.
So what do boys truly find most attractive in girls? Here are my top five: (Direct quotes from my survey are in blue.)
1. Makes Me Laugh
It is really fun to be with a girl who is just herself. Having a twin sister, I know that clothes and hair and things like that are important to girls but to quote one wise 16 year old boy, “The single most attractive thing she could do, is simply smile.”
Last Saturday my sister and I and a big group of our friends got up early and went on a sunrise hike then in the afternoon we drove to a river and went “bridge jumping” (see video below). What’s great about the girls in our group is that they weren’t worried about their hair or make up. They were just having fun and being their funny, crazy, adventurous selves. We laughed hard and played hard and had a great day together. It was fun because the girls were comfortable with being themselves, which helped me and my bros to be ourselves.
2. Loves to Learn
One friend simply summarized, “I like a girl who cares about her education.” It might be surprising to some people but according to my very informal yet highly reliable survey – caring about school is attractive. A young woman who has goals for her future and works hard to attain them is inspiring. At my high school, there are lots of girls who great examples of this. They are organized and study hard and sometimes it’s hard to keep up.
3. Treats others with respect
There is something really appealing about a girl who is kind. Have you ever noticed that kindness is catchy? When someone says something genuinely nice, it makes you feel good. It makes you feel like saying something nice too. It is also really awesome to see a girl have the courage to stand up for someone else. I remember one time in jr. high when several of the students were being rude to a teacher. A girl in my class stood up in front of everyone and told them that what they were doing was wrong and disrespectful. The kids listened to her and stopped the behavior. I completely agree with a friend who said, “What I search for in a girl is the way they treat others. Because someone who can be kind and respect others will respect me and have my respect in return.”
The definition of the word confident is being self-assured. It’s easy to spot genuinely confident people because they are usually happy yet humble. Guys like girls who stay away from gossip and drama. It’s also not attractive when a girl puts herself down with derogatory comments. A girl who has self-respect and confidence is an automatic winner. One friend said, “I find it attractive when a girl isn’t worried about what she looks like all the time, and isn’t worried about trying to fit in, but tries to do what’s right.”
5. Same standards and interests
One common response to my survey was, “I look for a girl who has the same standards and interests as me.” I have friendships with girls from all around where I live. Some are members of my faith and others are not. Probably the most important thing to me, whether of my faith or not, is that a girl have the same standards and values that I have. I appreciate girls who dress modestly, use clean language, and stay away from drugs and alcohol. A quote I really like by Elaine Dalton says, “Virtuous young men are attracted to virtuous young women”. I enjoy being around girls who are uplifting and help me want to be a better person. It’s a lot easier and comfortable to be around a girl that has common values and interests as me.
Beauty is a blessing, but it truly doesn’t mean a thing if what really matters isn’t there. Physical appearance was one of the least-mentioned things on the list. What it seems boys find most attractive is something you can’t put on, or buy, etc. Instead, it is something that comes from the inside, like being your best self, or making others laugh, or bringing a special feeling to someone that just can”t be explained.
I know that our Heavenly Father has blessed each of us individually and variously with many positive traits, and it is up to us to bring them out of ourselves. I’m not saying that dresses and curled hair, or whatever physical thing you may think makes you feel better as a girl means nothing, but it certainly isn’t what is most important. Remember, what people may find most attractive about you may not be what you think it is – be yourself, inside and out.