Five Things Young Women Look for in Young Men

by Rachel

(Ladies, check out my brother’s blog Five Things Young Men Look for in Young Women)

This past month while writing this blog, I wanted to find out what qualities girls look for in boys they date and what is most important in a future spouse. So I texted a bunch of the girls in my contacts, and I asked the question on my Facebook page.

Now, while this isn’t a scientific study, it seems to be a pretty good measuring stick. Of course, nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws, strengths, and weaknesses. But I’ve come up with five qualities that were not only nominated by my friends, but also the five that I find most attractive in someone.

1. Being kind

Has anyone ever done something for you like sent you a quick, thoughtful text, complimented you on a new outfit or hairstyle, or even sincerely listened to a story you have to tell? How did it make you feel? You noticed it, and didn’t it make you smile? Kindness is definitely a quality that stands out.

On the side of our fridge, we have a poster that says, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” It’s really attractive when a boy is kind to others. I have a friend who is always looking out for another boy in his neighborhood. This other boy has a seizure disorder, and he faces special challenges that most kids don’t have to deal with. My friend has been a great example of kindness in the way he includes him. I have another friend who always takes the time to talk to and play with my little sister whenever he comes over to our house. Boys who are kind to little kids are especially cute!

One other aspect of kindness mentioned by several of my friends is when a boy is respectful in the way he speaks. Girls like boys who are positive and uplifting not critical and sarcastic. Swearing is a big turn off. We like having conversations without being distracted by phones or other devices. A kind, encouraging word can really make someone’s day.

Tip: Boys, if you have enough courage to tell a girl that she is beautiful or give her a sincere compliment, you are winning.

2. Sense of humor

Personally, I think this category includes many attributes. Have you ever been around someone who is always complaining or has a negative attitude? Me too. It’s no fun. I think laughing is the thing I like most. It cures a multitude of ills. Someone who is positive and has the ability to laugh is an automatic dime. A person who has a sense of humor smiles a lot. My favorite phrase that my dad says is, “You’re always more attractive when you smile.” That is so true! Having the quality to laugh even at yourself sometimes, is fun to be around. A couple of months ago I went on the best date! My date and I and two other couples spent the evening making quesadillas and playing Just Dance. We laughed and talked and danced the whole time. It’s fun to be around people who can laugh.

3. Hard working

Nothing is more attractive than someone who has a desire to be successful in life. 10 years from now, swag won’t be paying the bills. Being successful doesn’t just come; it requires ambition, determination, confidence, and being humble. My brother always quotes his favorite basketball player by saying, “Hard work beats talent, when talent fails to work hard.” Working hard and staying humble is eye catching.  I have a friend in my neighborhood who really understands the principle of work. He works at an ice cream parlor several times a week on top of playing football and being an honor student. I really admire and respect the way he uses his time. Overall, Desire + Education + 110% Effort = Success = *heart eye emoji*

4. Friendship

I am lucky to have a twin brother, Lincoln. Our whole lives we have always had a big circle of friends that has included both boys and girls.   Spending so much time with my brother and his buddies has given me a unique perspective on how cool it is to have solid friendships with boys. We have a great time going on hikes, playing night games, going to the pool, going out to lunch, and going to school activities together. And do you know what’s the best thing about it? Even though I have known those guys most of my life, they still treat me and the girls in our group with respect. They hold doors, let the girls order first, and they are comfortable to be around. We can be ourselves and just have fun together. Being a true and good friend is one of the best things a person can be.

This is a picture of me and my brother Lincoln, and a bunch of our best friends.

This is a picture of me and my brother Lincoln, and a bunch of our best friends.

5. Love for God

This was one of the top ones that my friends said, and I can see why. When you love God, you have a desire to do what is right. I enjoy dating those who I know will respect and keep my morals high and who have high standards themselves. It’s nice to know I won’t be put in a situation that would make me uncomfortable.

A service-oriented man looks for what he can do for others, just like Jesus Christ. My dad is a direct example of that. He is constantly looking for what he can do for those around him, whether it’s asking all the boys on my brother’s basketball team if they need a Gatorade so that they don’t go thirsty during their game, or simply checking on someone and seeing how they’ve been. My dad does his very best to be a Christ-like man.

A boy who is kind, hard working, fun to be with, a good friend and who loves God is the kind of guy I like to spend time with.

If you have a minute, check out this Mormon Message.

This is Spencer Zimmerman. I don’t know Spencer personally, but he is a great example of kindness and leadership. Like I said earlier, someone who is kind automatically becomes 10x more attractive in my book. Please check out this video; it is so touching and truly an awesome story. Shoutout to Spencer for being one amazing boy.

This post was fun to write and I hope that it has been interesting to read. Please share your thoughts with me about what you find attractive in someone you date in the comments section below. Thanks for reading!

This article has 1 comments

  1. Kim Reply

    Those were all things I found attractive about my husband and still do today. This post would be beneficial for young men to read and apply in their lives. Great job Rachel!

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